Saying the "L" Word

In my stories, it is a BIG DEAL when my characters profess their love for each other. That's because circumstances within the story have prevented them from admitting their love. Or something in their backstory made them wary of admitting love to themselves or anyone else. And I'm not unique among romance writers. I find this to be true in most of the books I read as well as write.

Does art imitate life? In this case, I'd say probably yes. From my own personal experience, definitely yes.

The DH and I had been dating for over four months before I finally got up the courage to say the BIG "L" WORD to him. To be honest, for several weeks, I thought I only wanted to be "friends" with him. Then I decided okay, I wanted to be "more than friends." But it took him coming down with a fairly serious (and potentially life threatening) illness to make me realize that I really did want to keep him around, and I blurted out the "L" WORD.

For the record, he did NOT say it back for several weeks.

Years later (when faced with my own life threatening health crisis) he did admit that for him, it was "love at first sight" when we met. But saying the "L" word was a VERY BIG DEAL! So maybe I'm old-fashioned, or unrealistic, but I prefer that the "L" word not be thrown around lightly in either fiction or real life.

What about you?

And They Call It Puppy Love

OR: The only true love money can buy...
No, not THAT kind!

In June, 2003 I lost my beloved 16 year old Schipperke to cancer. After about a month of rattling around a too empty house, thinking I saw the dog at every turn and bursting into tears, I decided to volunteer with an animal rescue group.

So one hot July Saturday morning four years ago, I found myself at an "adoption event". There were about a dozen dogs of various sizes and ages, most in pet crates, and people milling about asking about and petting and adopting them. My plan was to be a "foster parent" to one of the dogs that was not adopted. I was all set to take home this cute little Lhasa Apso named Sammy when a woman rushed up and said, "I MUST have this dog for my 75 year old mother who just lost her Lhasa."

What could I do? Nothing but hand him over. The woman who ran the event was thrilled by how successful the day had been. There were only a couple of dogs left, including a scraggly little mutt that had cowered in the back of her crate and squalled pathetically the entire two hours. Part Yorkie and part who-knows-what, NOBODY had expressed any interest in her. "Could you take HER home?" the woman in charge asked. What could I say? I put the ugly, scared, whiny little mutt in my car and drove home.

Then a funny thing happened. I got home, and the puppy (she was only 10 months old) stopped crying. She walked out of the crate, took one look at my DH and he of her and LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT! Two hours later, with mutt in his lap, DH asked plaintively, "You aren't taking this dog back are you?" When I told him that yes, that was the plan, he looked ready to cry. This was on Saturday afternoon. It took me a couple more days to come around. By Thursday afternoon, the rescue group called to tell me they had a possible adoptive family for the dog. I told them, "Sorry, I'm keeping her!"

And that is how The Belle came into my life. :-)

Tina Ferraro

I did a fun Q&A with my long-time writer-buddy and multi-pubbed YA author Tina Ferraro over on the Romance Bandits blog today. Mosey on over and see what Tina has to say about her rocky road to publication, writing YA and her relationship with Clint Eastwood!

Oh, and she's giving away a copy of her current release: Top Ten Uses for an Unworn Prom Dress. CHECK IT OUT!

The Naming of Names

Or, a race car driver by any other name...

Okay, if you would like to read about Dario Franchitti and how I pick names for my characters, you'll have to go over to Romance Bandits and read this post! Check out the August 21, 2007 post at: http://romancebandits.blogspot.com/

Goody Goody for Me

Since they've returned from RWA National, a bunch of my Bandita buddies and I have been engaged in a private conversation about "goodies." You know, all those little do-dads and thing-a-ma-bobs that get handed out at conferences, or lie about on tables for the taking -- book marks, magnets, pens, pencils, candy, even condoms! Our discussion has been about what (if anything) an author can give away that will actually lead to someone buying the book.

So far, our conclusions have been probably nothing.

To be fair, I'm probably not the best judge of such things because I actually don't buy that many books. *GASP* Did Aunty just ADMIT such blasphemy?!?! Matter of fact, the last four books I bought were all written by friends (check the comments and I'll NAME the books). Note I did not say these were the last four books I have READ (though I did read and actually ENJOYED all of them). As for the trinkets, I LOVE the quality pens (not those stick pens with the caps that immediately get lost), sticky notes, and the little note pads.

But quite honestly, I've NEVER bought a book by any of the authors whose trinkets (and sometimes candy) I've scooped up and carried home from conferences. I wonder if anyone reading this has? TELL TELL TELL!

One thing several of my Bandita buddies said got them to buy was reading an excerpt on an author's website or elsewhere, like a review site. Nope, afraid that hasn't worked for me either. I'm strictly a 'go into the brick&mortar store, pick up the book, read a little and decide whether or not to buy' kinda gal.

Hey, I never claimed to be normal...

Moving Day

UGH! I HATE moving, even if it is only moving my blog through cyber-space.

You see, back when we were starting up the Romance Bandit blog, I did a little investigating of the various blog platforms and actually started my own personal blog on WordPress. It was strictly for fun and I mostly put up the posts I did on the Bandit blog. Then around about June 3rd, I took a look at the stats WordPress keeps and discovered that I actually had some readers! Well, that was all it took! The idea that someone might actually READ what I wrote spurred me to take my personal blog seriously. Soon I'd had over 100 visitors and I was THRILLED.

Of course, shortly after that WordPress decided to deny me access to my dashboard, so I could no longer write or post!

The course of true love AND blogging... you know the rest.

I emailed their support and did receive a timely response. I was told to clean out my cache (EXcuse me?), reload the page, and "it wouldn't hurt" to upgrade my internet access device of choice. I dutifully did the first two, multiple times in fact, but to no avail. I finally broke down and upgraded, even defragged my hard drive. NO GOOD. *heavy sigh*

That was nine days ago. I decided it was time to cut my losses and relocate.

SO HERE I AM! Unfortunately, I won't be able to transfer the comments, but I'm looking forward to everyone leaving new ones. And I'm trying to keep the original dates of the posts. I eliminated most of the stuff that wound up on the Bandit Blog, so you'll just have to mosey on over there to read them.

Now I just have to figure out how to access and actually USE Google Analytics. Yes, I'm a nerd for stats, but how else am I supposed to know if I have readers?!?! Oh yeah, YOU COULD LEAVE A COMMENT!

Losing Aimee

My CP Aimee is moving to Missouri. In TWO WEEKS!

Okay, okay, she told me a couple of months ago about her plans. But I’ve been in denial (my favorite river in Egypt). After all, we’ve been face-to-face CPs for almost two years now and we’ve worked really hard at our writing and at being supportive and helpful to each other. No small feat!

I’ve had a number of critique partners and participated in lots of groups (both formal classes and organizations and less formal ones) over the years, both online and face-to-face. Finding a “good one” is %#&#@) DIFFICULT!

Losing one is an absolute B*TCH!

Finding a CP who “fits” is hard work. You need to find someone who “gets” your writing, and vice versa. You need someone who is equally dedicated to his/her writing and to critiquing. But most of all, you have to find someone you can “trust.”

The trustworthiness of a CP goes far beyond the trust in many other relationships. Like it or not, every writer imbues her work with a certain amount of herself. What you write definitely reflects who you are, but it goes beyond a mere reflection. In so many ways, our writing truly becomes “our baby.” Finding someone you trust enough to criticize “your baby” is tricky indeed!

Aimee and I will continue being CPs, but online rather than face-to-face. And I will begin my search for a new face-to-face CP. But I know it will take a lot of time and effort for me to find someone, and no one will completely fill Aimee’s ballet slippers.

I MISS YOU ALREADY, Kiddo!

Life As An AYU Writer -- Part The Third

OR: I just didn’t love it enough… and other “Secret Handshake” phrases that lead to justifiable homocide.

Okay, maybe not REAL homocide, but ficitional. Or the intense desire to commit homocide. What a blood-thirsty mood I’m in! Obviously the rejections are getting to me.

Every writer who receives more than two or three rejections quickly begins to recognize certain “standard phrases” used by editors and agents. Phrases that might have once meant something, but due to extreme overuse in too many situations now mean absolutely nothing. Well, except as maybe an excuse for the recipient to beat his/her head repeatedly on the most convenient immovable object and/or seek his/her vice of choice.

You know the ones I mean…

And while you or I may scream,
“Why NOT?”

“What was unlovable about it?”

“What IS RIGHT for you right now?”

We will never really know. And it’s that uncertainty — the NOT knowing — that is so frustratingly hard to accept.

Most of the AYUs I know (myself included) have this nagging unreasonable fear of the “Published Writers’ Secret Handshake”. Being published is like a special club and we don’t know the secret handshake that will get us admitted. Hearing or reading those ambiguous phrases like “…just not right for us…” serves as a reminder that we are NOT in the club.
And of course, the big fear — We may never be in the club!

Another Day, Another Rejection

One of my favorite quotes is attributed to Woody Allen and goes something like this: “If you aren’t failing now and then, you aren’t in the business.”

NOBODY knows this better than an AYU writer, or any writer for that matter. We get our proof of being in the business all the time. THE DREADED REJECTION.

Some writers keep a scrapbook of their rejections. I’ve heard of others who paper their office (or more fittingly, their bathroom) with them. Others ceremoniously destroy them.

One of my CPs claims there is a Cosmic Number of rejections that every writer must receive before they sell. Of course, the catch here is that you never know what your number is. All I know is, whatever MY number: a) it is quite large (over 3 digits) and, b) I MUST be getting close. PLEASE!

As part of my campaign to develop the needed thick writer’s hide necessary for survival in this business, I’ve set myself a goal of “A Rejection A Day.” To facilitate this goal, in the past 8 weeks I’ve sent out 18 queries and 5 partials (only one unsolicited). For awhile there, I really was getting back one (or more!) rejection a day. However, lately they’ve fallen off to dribbles and drabs.

Yesterday, I received my first rejection in over a week. It was from BIG NAME AGENT “B”, and I’d been expecting it. Deep down in my totally insecure little AYU writer’s heart, I knew I couldn’t land Big Name Agent. Plus, it had been over a month, and previous experience has shown me that the longer they take, the less likely it will be positive. At least B.N. Agent “B” softened the blow by saying some nice things, including an invitation to submit future work.

So if I’m to keep meeting my goal and toughening my hide, it’s time to send out more queries and proposals. UGH! I really hate this part of “…being in the business.”

Just How Lucky Are You?

Okay, if you want to read the June 24 post about Publication = Crapshoot, you'll have to mosey on over to the Romance Bandits blog and look at the July 9th post. Click on the title of this post and it should take you there!

Meanwhile, I'm off to buy a lottery ticket. The odds are much better!

Ten Top Trivia Tips About Aunty C

While cruising through the blog-sphere the other day, I happened upon a list on another blogger’s site and discovered it was created by this hysterically funny Random Trivia Generator. So without further ado (but replete with snarky comments), here are:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Aunty C!

1. If every star in the Milky Way was a grain of salt they would fill Aunty C. But since I’m on a low-sodium diet, better make that a grain of chocolate. YUM! And the fill would only be temporary.
2. If you don’t get out of bed on the same side you got in, you will have Aunty C for the rest of the day. Better not take a chance, just don’t get out of bad at all.
3. Olive oil was used for washing Aunty C in the ancient Mediterranean world! Yes, I really am that old! And all that olive oil is responsible for the lustrous shine in my tresses.
4. Aunty C can taste with her feet. So howza bout a foot massage, cutey? heh heh
5. The porpoise is second to Aunty C as the most intelligent animal on the planet. Enough said!
6. Aunty C can squeeze her entire body through a hole the size of her beak. I think they meant backside. Now THAT would be a hole!
7. Scientists have discovered that Aunty C is visible from the moon! WHEN she is in a temper… Look out world!
8. Until the 1960s, Aunty C was not allowed to enter Disneyland. Now I have to be PAID, and a handsome sum at that, to enter the place! Masses of screeching children… UGH!
9. Aunty C can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is permeable even to acid! Actually, it’s not the heat, it’s the HUMIDITY!
10 It takes forty minutes to hard-boil Aunty C! This happened long ago in an unfortunate hot tub incident. So I am now permanently hard-boiled enough to frighten most small children and many adults. Thank Goodness!

Okay, that was waaay too much fun for one day. And some of those were too shockingly accurate to be mere coincidence!

You can try it yourself at: http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.plim
Try not to have too much fun.

Publication = Validation

I was in my local library a few weeks ago, and picked up several flyers from the table near the door on my way out. One in particular caught my eye, because it said in bold bright letters: BEGINNING WRITERS WORKSHOP.

While I do not consider myself a beginner, I’m always curious about the local writing scene, so I read on. This workshop was given by a “local best selling author” and would be “an opportunity to talk to an author and get your questions answered.” And the author would be reading excerpts from two novels.

Hmmmm… I’d never heard of this “best selling author” or either book, so I went home and went on Amazon. And yup, there the novels were, both self-published. My Gramma had a saying and it is the most appropriate description for my reaction, “That flew all over me!”

Okay, I don’t know this writer and I mean no disrespect, but why does paying to have your two novels published qualify you to teach a beginning writers workshop? Or ANY workshop, for that matter? If I were a gambling woman, I’d bet that I know just as much about writing (I’ve been doing it long enough!) and submitting for publication as this (and plenty of others) writer. I’d also bet that this so-called “workshop” was simply this writer’s way of selling those self-published novels.

So why don’t I just plunk down my hard earned cash and self-publish one of my novels? I admit, the idea is very tempting. But the short answer is because I still wouldn’t feel “good enough.” I’m sure self-publication is a satisfactory choice for some writers in some instances. Just not for me.

Validation is a concept I struggle with a lot. At any point in time, the pesky doubt demons run rough-shod over my fragile writer-ego and leave me feeling like a Loser, not a Writer. If I’m writing to be read (and is there any other reason to write?), then I need someone to read my stuff in order to feel that I really am a Writer. Simply writing is not “good enough.” I know that in this case publication would NOT give me the validation I seek.

Personal Log Jams

Recently my Bandita Buddy Donna M. went to a Deb Dixon workshop on “Goal, Motivation and Conflict,” not because she doesn’t know about GMC, but because hearing this stuff one more time never hurts. Also, you never know when you might hear something that will suddenly resonate with you.

So when Donna returned from this workshop, she shared this tidbit that resonated strongly with me:

She said, you get to a level where you have to find your log jam log. Apparently, studies have shown that log jams can be busted up if you can just move this one key log. You break that one free and everything flows free.

Writing to sell can be like that. You have all the basics down, a good plot, turning points, three dimensional characters,…but there’s something - one thing - that’s holding back that manuscript from breaking free and being in high demand. THe trick is finding that one thing that is unique to you.

I’d never won a contest - finaled consistently - but never won. Until this one person pointed out this one fairly small problem. SUddenly (my historical) came in first in a regional contest - first time ever for me. Next was the GH. My time travel that I’d entered in FF&P’s contest won
.
I was shocked. That one fairly small problem apparently was my log jam and it wasn’t anything identified by an editor.

So good luck finding your log jam and blasting it out of the way.

Lately, I’ve been trying my darndest to figure out what my own personal log jam is, but so far I haven’t had much luck. Except I’m pretty sure it’s tied to the bad habit I have of giving EVERYTHING else priority over my writing. But that’s a topic for another post.

Life As An AYU Writer -- Part Deux

Or: Which scares me more, FAILURE or SUCCESS?

I’m on the verge of “finishing” my third romantic suspense novel. I think, and my critique partners agree, that it is my best work yet. I’ve recently had some interest from a couple of what I consider Big Name agents and from one editor.

This is all Great News, right?

Then why have I been so paralyzed with fear in the past three weeks to the point that I can’t write ANYTHING (except blog posts, of course)?!?!?

On the surface, this seems to be a simple case of “Fear of Failure.” If I never finish the manuscript, then I can’t submit it and therefore it can’t be rejected. Simple. Straightforward. But I don’t quite believe it.

After all these years of submitting and receiving rejections, I KNOW all about failure.

This is familiar territory.

I know what rejections are, and recognize the good, the bad and the indifferent. I know how to act and how I’m going to react because I’ve been through this scenario many, many times. And while I do dread the inevitable rejections, I am used to them. I know how to shrug them off and go on. Why would it be any different with this manuscript?

Because this just might be THE ONE?!?!

I’ve had limited amounts of success with my writing, including finaling in a couple of prestigious contests and signing with an agent (who no longer represents me). But as the saying goes, “Close, but no cigar.” I don’t really know how to “do” success, even though it is the thing I’m pursuing so ardently.

Success is the unknown territory and therefore scary.

Heroes In Pajamas

Last night I met with two of my local Critique Partners (CPs) for one of our regularly scheduled meetings. The three of us prepare a line-by-line critique of the other two’s work (usually a chapter each) and we meet to eat pizza and go over the critiques.

So my two CPs were going over my chapter when we came to the scene where my h/h are waking up in bed together. The hero gets out of bed wearing only flannel pajama bottoms and one of my CPs said, “Please DO NOT tell me those are plaid flannel pajamas!”And when I said yes they were she groaned, “Romance heroes do NOT wear plaid flannel pajamas!”

Of course I disagreed. After all, I’d already shown that he was a pretty conservative guy who wears blue pin-striped boxers, and they were in a chilly climate. Then I went into TMI (too much information) territory and added that my DH wears plaid flannel pajamas AND he even has a pair with green smiling monkeys (that I bought for him). Clearly this was waaay more than my CP wanted to know and forever ruined my DH’s chances of being a Romance Hero in her book.

Still, I was left wondering if what a hero WEARS makes him any more or less a hero? If so, then some of those historical costumes look pretty silly to me, and I’m personally not fond of cowboy hats (or most other hats) on ANYONE. And while I’m thinking about it my LC (lovely child) is a lot closer to my hero’s age than my DH and LC wears ratty old sweatpants to bed (at least when he visits me). I definitely can’t picture a Romance Hero in THOSE!

Life As An AYU (As Yet Unpublished) Writer

…OR Size DOES Matter And My Inferiority Complex Is Bigger Than Yours

Several weeks ago a lovely writer named Heidi Ruby Miller invited me (not me personally, a group invite to the Romance Bandits) to post on a featured spot on her blog called “Heidi’s Pick Six”. She has a list of fifteen questions and asks writers to answer any six. Then she posts those answers on a regular basis along with a photo and brief biography of the writer.

So what is Aunty’s problem with that?!?! The OTHER WRITERS who have already appeared on her blog doing the Pick Six. They all seem to be published. Make that multi-published. Some are even semi-legends (Orson Scott Card, anyone???)! One quick browse and I came down with a severe case of I’m-Not-Worthys. With all those established authors, why would ANYONE be interested in what Nobody Me has to say?

Okay, so if I HAD the nerve, here hare Heidi’s Pick Six questions and some of my answers:

HEIDI’S PICK SIX
1. Which of your characters is your favorite?
Whoever is my current hero. I have a thing about falling in love with my heroes. If I don’t love them, how can I expect the reader to love them? This is never an issue with my heroines, probably because in some way they are all extensions of me.

2. Tell me about your travels.
Where do I start? LOL! I’ve visited 48 states and a couple of dozen foreign countries including most of western Europe, Turkey, Australia, China and Thailand. People often ask me which is my favorite and I can honestly say that I’ve never been to a place that I did not enjoy, at least in some aspect. Usually the thing I enjoy most is the people I meet. Everywhere I’ve gone I’ve found people to be friendly. As long as you smile and act friendly to them, they will reciprocate.

Lately I’ve been on a cruise kick and have gone on eight of them in the past couple of years, two to Alaska and the other six to Mexico. They are GREAT! This fall I’m taking my first Caribbean cruise, and after that I hope to cruise through the Panama Canal.

3. Coffee, tea, or milk?
4. What else can you do besides write?
5. Who are you reading right now?
6. Pop culture or academia?
7. What is the toughest scene you ever wrote?
The next one I have to write, whatever that may be.  Any scene I haven’t written is always tougher to write than one I’ve finished, even if only in first draft.

8. Where do you find your inspirations to write?
Everywhere, literally. (See my previous post on Ideas, Inspirations and Irish Royalty.)

9. Food you could eat everyday.
10. Are you into sports or other physical activities?
11. What kind of music speaks to you?
12. Do you outline your stories or do they just take you along for the ride?
13. Celebrity crush.
Make that crushES because one is never enough! Eric Bana, Hugh Jackman, and Paul Bettany are my current favorite Lust Objects (LOs). As you may have noticed, I like ‘em tall and lean. (heh heh) Also, all three of these gentlemen are married and (from all appearances) extremely devoted to their wives and children, which to me makes them all that much more appealing. They all also appear to have a wonderfully self-deprecating sense of humor and that’s another thing I find irresistable.

14. Who are the biggest influences on your work?
15. Do you still watch cartoons?
My son (aka LC or Lovely Child) forced me to watch a bunch of episodes of Sponge Bob Squarepants last time he visited and I have to admit, I found them pretty entertaining. Also, do animated movies count? A few weeks ago, I watched “Flushed Away” on DVD and thought it was charming. I also LOVED the original “Toy Story” and “Finding Nemo”.

Terrible Twos

Some fun and games from my BFF, Whit…

2 names you answer to:
1) Cindy
2) Hey, you!

2 pets you have/had:
My current pets are
1) The Belle (and it’s ALL ABOUT The Belle!)
2) Missy Autumn

2 places you’d like to be:
1) any place with a beach (though a tropical beach is preferred)
2) New Zealand, because I’ve never been there. But after seeing the LOTR movies, I’m FROTHING to go!

2 most important traits in a friend/lover:
1) honesty
2) sense of humor

2 foods you can’t live without:
1) chocolate (in any way, shape or form)
2) Pepsi (I’m forced to drink caffeine free diet, but it’s still Pepsi!)

2 things you really want:
1) to be healthy (as in ditch those 5 Rx I currently take)
2) to have my book published! I don’t care which one, just ONE of them PUBLISHED!

Timing The Market

Way back when I first started saving for retirement, one of the first and most important financial lessons I learned was “never try to time the market”. The reasoning was simplicity itself. The heads of the biggest investment firms in the country and their hundreds of very smart staff people can’t figure out when a stock or a fund has reached its high point and is about to decline. What makes you think YOU can?
I believe the same can be said of publishing, and here’s my personal experience.

I attended my very first romance writers’ conference in October, 2004. During that wonderful three day event, the phrase on everyone’s lips, be they writer, reader, editor or agent, was CHICK LIT! Nearly every writer I talked to was writing and/or pitching a chick lit novel. Well, every one except me. Every editor and agent in attendance were requesting and buying chick lit. I was feeling a bit left out, but rather than try and “time the market”, I kept working on my romantic suspense WIP.

Fast-forward to July, 2005 and my first RWA National conference. I was working on my second romantic suspense WIP and suddenly everyone was talking about PARANORMAL romance. Everybody was reading, writing and/or buying anything with a vampire or a shape-shifter in it. Chick Lit, it seems, was dead, or at least terminally ill. HUH? I was out of the loop again. And I felt bad for the writers trying to pitch a chick lit manuscript.

Last year, when the RWA National conference rolled around again, vampires were still undead but also rather passe. Unless they were in an erotica, because the word circulating now was hot, Hotter, HOTTEST! Whatever you were writing needed to have plenty of steamy sex scenes. By now, I’m sure you can guess what I was writing… if you said anything except romantic suspense, you just aren’t paying attention.

So here it is May and National will be rolling around again in less than two months. What will be the next big thing this year? Judging by the rumblings I’ve heard and the sales I’ve seen lately, my guess is that historical are indeed making a comeback. Or not…

If I’ve learned anything in the past three years it’s that “the powers that be” in romance publishing, editors and agents don’t have any more idea about the next big thing than I do. And if they can’t predict the next hot trend, I’m certainly not going to try.

What about you? What do you think will be the next big thing? Do you run out to read and/or write what you see crowding the bookstore shelves? Or do you stick with your old favorites?